I am not good enough.
I know you have this in you somewhere. I do too.
Ancient world philosophies mention it as being basic to all humans.
How much you notice will depend on your awareness of yourself and how much it affects you will depend on your life when you were young.
This one belief seeds many other beliefs. For example: I have no talent, I can’t do this, I am not liked, People won’t listen to me, I am not valued, I need to stay out of the limelight, I am not worthy of love or success, I am too old (or young), I am not confident.
When we were young, we misinterpreted situations and words, simply because our brains were immature. We didn’t have the wisdom to understand other people or what was going on. So patterns and beliefs developed to help us survive. We were dependent on our elders so we had to fit in. And in order to fit in, we learned how to behave in ways that at least meant we survived even if all our needs weren’t met. And so we started to believe things about ourselves. And these beliefs stuck. They play out in subtle and not so subtle ways as an adult.
Recently, I gave a talk to a networking group on limiting self-beliefs. My voice was croaky and no amount of clearing my throat or taking a sip of water cleared it. So I continued to speak, regardless of wondering how I sounded. Right up until……….. I lead the group in a guided meditation (light hypnotherapy). From then on, my voice was soft, clear and in good tone. Why it changed at this point is (according to me) because they closed their eyes and therefore were not looking at me.
In inquiry later on, I realised that this was a self-belief showing up in my body. I am not worthy of being listened too and when people are looking at me, they are giving me attention that I am not worthy of.
Some therapists and coaches recommend replacing a limiting belief with a positive one. This is like trying to ignore what is going on and trying to force yourself to believe something different. A belief is not just a thought – if you have a doubting thought, you can talk yourself out of it.
A belief is stored in the body. You know when you believe or know you can do something, your body is relaxed, open and happy. But when you believe you can’t, your body is tight, constricted and stiff.
So we need to go deeper than the mind to get to the root of the belief. And there is no need to replace it, because once you experience what is deep inside, beliefs don’t matter.
If you sense that there is limiting belief affecting you, I would love to support you.