I admire my big brother.

He died well.

He had thought it all through in detail. Not that he talked to me about it.

I don’t even know if he talked about it to his immediate family.

But he had it all planned. His directions included being cremated within 24 hours – this created some challenges for his family, in terms of where and cost.

He wanted garden flowers at the memorial – some NZ and some Australian.

He wanted the official announcement to be after the memorial service – just as well as there were so many people there anyway. But what about those who would have loved to be there?

He had written the story of his life to be read out at the memorial service.

He had organized all this years before the death.

And because he was cognitively aware he was able to make his choice of no surgery, knowing what the consequences were.

So good. And I think its this last point that I admire the most. Facing death clearly without the push to prolong life regardless of risk or quality. I would like to be like this too.

How about you? Have you made an Advanced Care Plan so that your values, wishes and spirituality are respected and followed for you, if by chance you are unable to convey these at a time of accident, illness or old age.

I wrote an Advanced Care Plan a few years ago. I need to review it, though I don’t think I will make changes but when I think about it, I don’t want to think about it. And you may be the same. Being incapacitated or dying is not something we wish to dwell on.

But what if………..we could be open and honest and neutral about it all……the dying and end of life stuff.

Dying well is important. Living well is important. Isn’t it? Both these apply for any age.

The interesting thing is, that when we have the dying stuff sorted, we can then live better.
Maybe because we then know that we have made our choices that are true for us known and partly because we have helped the family know what we want at the end. Clarity in this way helps the family cope at that emotionally challenging time. Clarity about how we want our dying to be, supports us to have clarity about how we want to live.

I want you to live in freedom. My wish is that you live life fully. Facing your emotions about death and getting clear about how dying well is for you, can be truly liberating.

If you want my support with this, please get in touch.

With love,

Annette