People Pleasing and Boundaries
Pleasing other people, fitting in with them and what they want and not rocking the boat could be the design for an easy life. A comfortable life. In this way you can avoid the terror of what might happen if you were to voice your opinion.
But at some stage, something inside you starts wondering about you and whether you are betraying yourself. And what life would be like if you stood up for yourself. And what life would be like if you were true to yourself, and who are you.
Being true to yourself is the key to being able to have boundaries
Though setting boundaries is not about sitting down and writing down what you won’t do and will do. Too complicated! Boundaries can happen naturally when you are sure of yourself and know your true self. They can develop over time as you become more aware of what you truly want.
But first lets investigate the subconscious patterns that are leading you to walk on eggshells around some people – those in authority or men or loved ones? Lets inquire into how it all started. Because it was a way to survive when you needed to survive and weren’t able to on your own. It was the only way to cope and to have some semblance of approval and love. It served you well when young but unfortunately the pattern got suck and well practised and reinforced and embedded deeper.
Lets do something about this – if you truly want to be finished with the pattern.
What Annette Helps With
Depression
This can be as light as low mood and as deep as not wanting to live. You might feel lost and stuck. And for sure there will be stuck stuffed down emotions. Layers of them that seem too painful to unravel and face.
And we take things gradually, exploring your life and getting to the history of feeling or not feeling emotions. Maybe emotions were frowned upon when you were young, even the happy ones. Maybe they were even punished. So, of course, you learned not to let yourself feel them, or express them or act on them. Hence why there are a lifetime of pushed down emotions.
We are human and therefore have emotions, probably many times a day. So that’s a whole lot of emotions in a growing up and adult life.
Lets peel them off so you can learn to let yourself feel them with acceptance and no fear of them making you fall apart or explode.
And life can open up for you, it can expand and motivation can be given a boost as you become aware of being lighter.
Medication is often offered if you see your Doctor. It can be useful in the short term and enable you to start therapy.
Emotional pain
In our civilised society emotions are often ignored. Mental health is talked about but not emotional health. And even when it is talked about, people want to explore the many names given to them which becomes academic and mind based. You have probably seen the charts with the many names of emotions.
The other way emotions are talked about is the ways to express them. Get up the courage and go talk to the person involved when feeling put down. Hit a pillow to get rid of anger! Go running to get rid of embarrassment!
I am here to help you be real about emotions. They are in the body.
Stored in the body as energy and arising at most inopportune moments when a trigger reminds you of a past situation. Which is good, except when it affects your relationship with whoever is in front of you.
The real way to deal with emotions is to feel them in your body, whenever they become apparent. Not think about them – thinking about them takes you into your head and away from the emotion.
Where you do feel the emotion most strongly? And what is it like in there? Acknowledge it, feel it and it will dissolve. Until next time or the next layer. We are human – we have emotions, they come and go. Allow them.
Related blogs
Physical pain
Addictions
Self-worth and self criticism
What happens in a session?
1. We begin with what is present
You do not need to arrive with the “right words” or a clear explanation. We begin with what is happening for you now.
2. You are deeply listened to
There is space to speak honestly, feel what is there and be met without judgement.
3. We explore the patterns underneath
Together, we may gently look at beliefs, emotions, memories or subconscious patterns that are influencing your current experience.
4. Hypnotherapy or guided inner work may be used
Where appropriate, Annette may use hypnotherapy, guided relaxation or inner inquiry to support deeper awareness and change.
5. You leave with more clarity
The aim is to help you feel more connected, calm and aware of your own inner truth.
Session options
Individual Session
Length: 60 minutes
Investment: $150
Supervision / Mentoring Session
Length: 60 minutes
Investment: $150
In person sessions are available on the Kapiti Coast. | Online sessions are available via Google Meet across New Zealand
Why work with Annette?
Annette Burrell brings together counselling, hypnotherapy, psychotherapy training, NLP, meditation and years of personal and professional inner work.
Her work is especially suited to people who want to feel deeply heard, gently supported and guided back toward themselves.
- Qualified counsellor and hypnotherapy practitioner
- Advanced clinical hypnotherapy training
- Psychotherapy-informed background
- Experience supporting emotional healing and inner change
- Warm, non-judgemental and deeply intuitive approach
- In-person and online support available
Frequently Asked Questions
Don't see your question here? Feel free to get in touch.
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What is the difference between counselling and hypnotherapy?
Counselling gives you space to talk, reflect and be heard. Hypnotherapy works more directly with subconscious beliefs, patterns and emotional responses.
Do I need to know what is wrong before I book?
No. You can arrive exactly as you are. Many people simply know they feel stuck, anxious, disconnected or ready for something to change.
Can sessions be done online?
Yes. Sessions are available online via Google Meet across New Zealand.
Are sessions available online?
Yes. Sessions are available online through Google Meet, so you can work with Annette from anywhere in New Zealand. Online sessions can still be personal, gentle and deeply supportive.
Where are in-person sessions held?
In-person sessions are available on the Kapiti Coast.
How many sessions will I need?
This depends on what you are bringing and what kind of support you are looking for. Some people come for a few sessions, while others prefer ongoing support.
Is hypnotherapy safe?
Hypnotherapy is a gentle, guided process. You remain aware and in control throughout the session.
What if I feel nervous about booking?
That is very normal. You are welcome to start by sending a simple message or booking a conversation to see whether it feels right.
Ready to begin?
You do not need to have everything figured out before reaching out. If something here resonates with you, you are welcome to book a session with Annette.
A first step can be simple. You can just say, “I’d like to talk.”