Yesterday I tripped over. I fell straight down onto my knees. Hard.

The first half of the fall, was in slow motion with me not believing at first that I was falling, then I was curious about how I would land, then I landed with a jolt. Onto hard ground. What a shock.

It seemed like the 2 knees had equal jolt but later I found this was not so and actually the garden path is a gentle slope so it’s logical that one knee had a stronger bang than the other. Oh, the pain! My hands had been out but did not soften the fall. I stayed on my knees for a few minutes head down on my hands, as I felt the pain. So much, my head was screaming inside with it. And I noticed a bit of fear about what it would mean.
I got up, sat on a nearby seat, pulled my trousers up and assessed the damage. A bit of redness, nothing else.

Soon afterwards I noticed it became sore to walk. There was no pain in my right knee, but the pain in my left knee spread down my legs and up to my hip. The pain got stronger. Walking got slower.

A couple of hours later I met with a friend who also does Leela Therapy. She supported and guided me to relax and go to the knee. Inside I found a feeling of being crushed and hurt. Being judged, judging myself and feeling worthless. There was a lesson to be discovered here. It was to do with recognising that the self-judgment was very subtle and pervasive. So much so, that it wasn’t even in proper thoughts but more like impressions. As I felt all this and stayed with all this, everything dropped away and it was very spacious and in love.
Here I welcomed a little me from many years ago, hugged her and let her know that I didn’t blame her for suffering from judgement or for then doing it to herself. I didn’t blame her for holding on to that pattern. These early things just get stuck.

So is this just a story. Well, it seems like it is, the day after. Is it just made up? Or does our body hold onto these patterns?

My message to you, is that a shock to the body or an injury can be an opportunity to inquiry into what is showing up inside. Pain can be a gift, or a message (if you like that idea). It is certainly an opportunity.

Ps, Today my knee is a bit sore to touch but not to walk and not otherwise.