Can you ever just accept yourself as you are? Or is this too big a thing?
What about just accept parts of you?
Actually, why not find the parts of you that you don’t judge negatively? Can you do that?
We get so hooked into the negative that we can easily overlook the parts that work well. And maybe there are lots of times where you didn’t judge yourself at all. Maybe there are times when you judge yourself positively. Wow, yes, maybe and then you didn’t hardly notice! Did you? Well, I didn’t, that’s for sure.
I’m not sure about this talk of parts of you. But it does feel like that sometimes, doesn’t it? It’s easier to think about different parts – parts of the body, parts of the mind. Bit like it’s easier to think about us each as a part of the world, our own little part, whereas really – are we separate?
Anyway, back to judgement.
There is likely to be a positive intention to this judging. Like trying to get accepted, trying to improve, trying to be better, trying to be loved, trying to be good. These are patterns that were set up when we were young, with the good intention, the way to cope. Maybe you remember, going into thinking and trying to work out…………………how to get away from an uncomfortable emotion!!
I can remember when I was 6 or 7 years old, lying in bed, trying to work out how to be good. It felt so uncomfortable to be around anger and it was totally impossible to know what I felt. Because emotions were not talked about or acknowledged. It was all about pleasing my parents, because I needed them to survive. I couldn’t survive on my own, so somehow I had to play the part (oops, that word again) that I perceived that they needed me to.
This was absolutely nothing about me being authentic and being myself.
Nothing about accepting how I felt.
Nothing about accepting myself as I was.
And all this led to self-judgement.
Having an inner critic which tried so hard to guide me to be good. (define good if you can!)
What about you?
Do you judge yourself? Negatively? Positively? Can you see the positive intention of of the inner critic?
Want to look in more detail into the pattern – like circumstances, thoughts, emotions, body sensations – all connected in the pattern?
If you do – lets talk.