Sometimes life just seems hard. It seems so real that it is hard.
Why do we think that?
Because it’s not easy! Not comfortable? Not going well? Not what we want?
We are trained to judge circumstances as good or bad, hard or easy. Are you having a good day? Are you well?
But hard? What does that even mean?
Maybe: Someone you love is ill or dying?
Your relationship is in trouble?
You lost your job?
You don’t have enough money?
The weather is too cold?
Your house is flooded?
Your car broke down?
The job is stressful?
The list could go on. I’m sure you could add to it. They are all circumstances that can produce uncomfortable feelings. The situation may be out of your control. The fixing of it, may be out of your control. And we don’t like that. We like to have control and we like to know.
The feelings that arise in any situation may be unexpected. Or they may be familiar because they have been felt in similar situations before.
But if the hard thing about a circumstance is the feeling, the emotion, maybe we can do something about that. Assuming you want to………………sometimes we feel that we are expected to feel a certain way or that’s it’s right to feel that way. (Or that it’s wrong to feel that way)
It can seem complicated because we have old patterns about emotions, set up when young. We have beliefs about emotions, set up when young. You could have a belief that it’s wrong to feel angry, or happy. You could have a belief that you need to be stoic and hold it altogether, stuffing the emotions down deep. You could have a belief that no-one will hear you or understand you, if you have emotion. And we also judge emotions as good or bad.
If you have been receiving my Echoes for a while, you will know what my suggestions are about emotions.
However, the judgement stuff – that its hard – is not just about the emotion, though that is a key part. It’s then noticing your thoughts that just pop up. Is it possible for the thought to be allowed to be, without you thinking about it? Thoughts arise. You think about them and this leads to the tangle. It’s thinking about the random thought that makes things harder and harder, especially if you believe them.
Try an experiment: notice your thoughts, let them be.
And carry on living, doing what is right in the moment.
